For those of you who have yet to have children, do you ever find yourself wondering? Wondering what it’s like having someone to constantly watch, when do you stop worrying about them, why do parents do it if it’s so hard, is it really THAT stressful, their just kids? Well let me tell you about the rollercoaster ride you have in just one day…

Before I start though, let me begin by just saying, my oldest is only 2 1/2 years old and I honestly can’t even remember life before him or what life is like without my little munchkins. They bring so many emotions to the surface that I didn’t realize I could feel.

Now back to today, I’ll begin by saying our youngest is 13 months old and is getting teeth and just started walking… last night, but she is fierce and so independent. Our oldest is a ball of energy with the biggest heart I’ve ever been blessed with knowing. Both of them keep me going every single day. Today especially.

We had our normal morning of cleaning, eating, nap time for the kids, snack, the usual with typical hiccups. But when it came time to make supper, Monday through Mama B a curve ball, or a strike, I’m still unsure at this point. Anywho, as I said our baby girl is finally trusting herself to walk and boy is she moving. During supper prep she walks by our farmhouse table and stays close to the bench just in case. Now, she’s not one to have any care in the world, so she wasn’t watching where she was going. Needless to say, she slipped on a toy and her top lip met the bench that was suppose to be her support.

Before I even look up, I hear her bawling and assume, once again, big brother is picking on her. Nope, he’s in the other room, oh crap… I ran over to her as supper is about to boil over and burn and she is pouring blood out of her mouth. Now remember, she’s teething so she is drooling like a dog. Anywho, I take her and get her cleaned up and settled on her little John Deere couch with her night night blanket, paci and I flip on Beauty and the Beast (her favorite). Finally a decent look and you know what, she has a big ole fat lip.

So, we get her feeling better and carry on with dinner. Everything goes mostly smooth. Our baby girl is done eating before we say grace and our son takes two hours. Normal dinner.

After our incredibly long day of events, trust me you don’t even want to hear the rest… I decide that mama needs a bath and some peace and quiet after the baby is asleep. So here I am, fifteen minutes in and I hear little footsteps and the door starts to open. Well, at least I had a little time right?!

As my son manages to pop open the door I am listening to see what he needs. He peeks his little head around and goes “Mama?” in a whisper so he doesn’t wake up sissy in the next room. I say “ya Bubby, what do you need?” “I see you mama?” “You came to find mommy?” “Ya, I sit with you mama?” My flipping heart just melted in to mush. He wasn’t sure where mommy went and he came to find me. Then goes a step further, as if checking on his mommy wasn’t enough; he sits down right beside the tub and puts his little hands in his tiny little lap and just sits quietly.

I kept asking God today what I had done for everything to go so darn wrong. It was one thing after another and I was getting to the end of my rope, barely hanging on. Then he reminds me of my why, my reason and my purpose. Just because I had a bad day doesn’t mean life is bad. I have every reason to be happy, I am so blessed.

Parenting and being a mom is the hardest, yet most rewarding thing I have ever done. Sure, things will happen that make you feel like your losing grip of your life, but then moments like that happen and emits like every sweet moment you’ve had with them arises and everything else disappears. I have never felt a more breathtaking love, than that my children give me.

He thought he needed me, but I need him more.

Categories: Mama Thoughts

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