Society has made motherhood this impossible position that we are constantly trying to fulfill. Everyone has an opinion about which way is correct and no matter how are you handle it, you are always wrong. Between social media and the battle for perfection, mothers constantly feel inadequate.
Motherhood is a balancing act.
Half of society tells us we need to stay home, maintain the household, cater to our children and husband’s every need. That our soul priority is simply that, motherhood. The other half tell us to be independent, put ourselves above everyone else. Our jobs and careers should take precedence over everything and everyone. However, I believe we can do both if we choose to learn how to walk the balance beam.
Home Sweet Home
Our homes are our sacred place, where love grows, memories are made and our chore list is never ending. Let’s be honest, that sounded so peaceful and relaxing until the reality of that last one hit… Then you remembered you forgot to change the laundry, mop up that spilled juice and the leftovers in the fridge are 3 weeks old. Now you’re whole day at work just spun out of control because you have a laundry list (that includes laundry) waiting for you at home after a long day at work.
Guess what, they can wait. Breathe.
The reality is once we get one chore marked off, another takes it’s place. So while you are at work, forget about it. That’s right, let it go. There is absolutely no reason to send yourself in to hyperventilation because of something that you cannot change right now. Take 30 seconds to take some deep breaths, focus on your task at hand and the rest will wait. If you need to, make a list of the chores you need to get done and prioritize.
Put aside your home checklist and enjoy the time you have at work. Sounds silly right? Enjoy work? But it’s true, we all need a break from people… even those little dimpled sweeties that you created. Focusing on work will help you be more productive as an employee or boss, everyone around you will notice.
Work is meant for the office
Once you allow yourself to put aside the tasks awaiting you at home, you allow yourself to put 110% in to your job. Your productivity will increase, anxiety will decrease and office morale will surely lift. The best part, you can do the exact same thing when you clock out.
Shut off work emails & phones before dinner
Sounds intimidating huh? What if a client needs you to reschedule, your employee can’t find that paperwork… Guess what, the problem will still be there waiting for you tomorrow. Set boundaries for yourself and coworkers, they deserve the evening too.
Allowing open communication during off hours not only disrespects your time and your employees, but your families. Think about it, your at dinner and your child is so excited to tell you about their science project… but your phone rings right in the middle of their story. They sigh heavily knowing full well you are going to step away and answer, showing them that work is still your priority and they are not.
Sounds Simple, But Is It?
Putting your to do list away while at work and muting work phone calls and emails sounds simple, but it’s a lot harder than you think. The first few days, maybe even weeks, that to do list will creep in to your thoughts now and again. Then, come dinner you may question whether you pushed send on that final email before walking out the door. Do not check, write a reminder or put it in your phone, but do not check that email.
Allowing one slip up always snowballs in to another, I mean why not if you’ve already checked one… just check that other to see if they responded quick. What will that hurt? Then it turns in to an hour later and your deep in the rabbit hole. Writing a reminder will ease your mind and let you get back to your evening. After beating the urge for the first time, you will feel the relief and reap the benefits of the separation.
Take A Mental Note
The day you decide to tempt the balance beam of home and work, take a mental note of how stressed you are, your exhaustion levels and time spent engaging with your family. After a week of mastering the art of flipping the switches, retake those mental notes. Has your stress level decreased, causing you to accomplish more at work? What about sleeping, do you feel more rested in the morning? The most important question, how has this impacted your family?
The day I decided that my business needed to stay at the salon and my chores collected on a list and not in my mind, my life changed. We have more snuggles, longer story times and easier bed times. Constantly trying to ‘finish one more thing’ I’ve brought home has come to an end, no more ‘give mommy one more minute’ or ‘tell me after I finish this’. Our kids feel important, they open up about their day more than ever before and we are relaxed and ready for bed come the end of the night. So put those emails on mute and write notes if you must, but leave work at work and the chores on a list, not in your mind to ponder all day long.